Couldn’t imagine if the thing I loved to do most, was suddenly on the line—the existential crisis that’d be sure to ensue. I remember day-maring that I’d lose my drawing hand in some freak accident and that how I wouldn’t want to go on if I couldnt draw anymore. I was probably all of 6 years old.

The following is an excerpt from AB discussing the inception of the project.

ab-14kt-saturn-return

The plan was to be a musician when I grew up…a singer, songwriter, producer, and performer…and I was on my way there until 2011 came with an onslaught of monkey wrenches that would tighten every loose screw in my life. I didn’t know I needed to be repaired…

I couldn’t wrap my head around how I had gone from touring around the world as a music director for Slum Village and Black Milk, singing background for Grammy nominated group, The Foreign Exchange, and having a record deal with a top music executive at Capitol Records…to a temporary desk job doing PAPERWORK!!!

My friend Evelyn Bandoh entered [my office] to my surprise and I watched a face filled with a beautiful smile quickly turn to a face filled with concern. She said “Ab, what’s wrong? And why are you still here?”

The plan was to be a musician when I grew up…a singer, songwriter, producer, and performer…and I was on my way there until 2011 came with an onslaught of monkey wrenches that would tighten every loose screw in my life. I didn’t know I needed to be repaired…

I was asking myself the same question. I responded…”I don’t know what is going on with my life, or why it feels like everything is falling apart, and why it seems like I don’t know what’s next or which way I should be going?”

She put her things down and sat across from me at my desk and the dialogue went something like this:

Evelyn: How old are you?

Ab: 28

Evelyn: How long have you been feeling this way?

Ab: All year…I’m so glad 2011 will be over at the end of this month.

Evelyn: What’s been going on?

Ab: Where do I start…I have a vocal polyp and haven’t been able to sing all year. In February the doctor said it would be gone in 6 weeks if I took the meds he gave me but clearly its still there and it’s December!! I feel like at this point I don’t know if I will ever sing again. I was thinking about having it surgically removed but in July I found out I had a blood clot in my left and right thigh and had to stay in the hospital for a week. They put me on blood thinners that I take everyday. I have to go to the doctor every week to check my blood level, which is exhausting, and on top of that…the side effects drive me crazy. My legs constantly feel like they’re going to explode! I can’t have the vocal surgery until I get off of the coumadin blood thinners. The doctor also says there’s a possibility that I’ll be on coumadin for the rest of my life if I have the blood trait. I really don’t know what my next move is. I think I’m going to focus on producing music and leave singing alone. In addition to all of that…the door with this woman I’m in love with is slowly but surely closing…

Evelyn: You’re going though your Saturn Return.

Ab: Saturn Return?!?!?

Evelyn: Yes! Saturn Return.

Stream Saturn Return below, Buy Saturn Return here for just $5:

FWMJ

Author FWMJ

Founder of Rappers I Know and Art Director to the Stars...of the Underground. Follow him on Twitter @fwmj.

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